Psychotic Entanglement

I bought a tarot card deck recently. I can’t decide if it was because I really like the art on this particular deck or if deep in some unacknowledged part of me I hope artifacts like that really do have power. The power to see what is coming and give us a chance to prepare.

While the jury is still out on the tarot cards, I can say, unequivocally, that Dr. Lisa Damour’s book, Untangled, delivers. Each time I pick up this book feels like a moment of clarity. That feeling you get when you find a map while in the middle of a confusing journey. Dr. Damour lays out with clarity (and accompanying examples) the transitions girls navigate as they move from childhood to being young adults. She groups then into seven main categories. Each section of the book is an aha moment. Ever wonder why your teenage daughter pushes you away while at the same time demanding you be her audience? Ever wonder why she’ll through and emotional bomb into the room and walk away with a smile?

I have one daughter in her mid teens and another just a few years behind. The behaviors that have me confused frustrated and angry are all put into context. While it doesn’t make the behaviors go away (and, in fact, explains why they are necessary and beneficial in the long run) they provide me with the context and lens to view what is happening. And, most importantly, to provide the support and encouragement that I can. To not turn every psychotic
(Dr. Damour’s words, not mine) action into a battle of wills or disciplinary fight. Instead, I can now roll with it. I can see behavior for what it is and what it is helping her to become.

In short, it is a great book and I highly recommend it.